Hard or Soft? Coming back from Open Heart Surgery

So as some folks know, a year ago I was standing on the corner of Death and 31st streets due to some heavy duty infections and associated operations. One of my staunchest hopes was to come out of the experience with my previous martial skills recognizable, if improved. During my recovery, I started slow and ugly doing my kata (as I remembered them) and my Chinese Kenpo master form. It wasn't pretty at all, but it was still in there.

If you have never had such a major surgery that requires you to be under anesthesia AND a paralyzing agent, I would highly recommend that you avoid it at all costs. Apparently there is something about having someone elbow deep in your chest and your heart splayed open that is not compatible with involuntary twitching. When I came out of the anesthesia, I had absolutely no ability to voluntarily move anything on my body from my eyelids to my toes. Essentially, I started from absolutely zero ability to move and had to relearn how to walk. To say that the experience was unpleasant would be like saying that Hitler had minor control issues.

So once I learned the basics - foot in front, step, etc - and got to the point that I could ambulate for a few minutes at a time, I worked my forms and kata. To be certain, they were unrecognizable at first. Eventually, through training, perseverance, practice and study I have come back to a skill level resembling a trained martial artist. I make no claims at mastery and won't bother to pretend that my form is anywhere near what it once was, but it is improving every day...and that's what the journey is all about.

So for a year I have focused on my Kenpo and my Nahate Goju. I have been sharpening the sword back to use and, God willing, will continue to. What had been lacking up until recently, however, was my pen to my sword, my soft to my hard, my yin to my yang. Finally recognizing this and taking action on it, my beautiful wife and I purchased a guitar so that I could re-learn music and develop the other half of my spirit. So far, I'm loving it! I look forward to the time of day when I can go downstairs to our family room and just pick away on the Takamine's strings and build calluses until it hurts, never quite sounding "good."

You see, I may never be as good at martial arts as I once was...perhaps I never was in the first place, but that's another thought for another day. I may never get good at the guitar, either. Although it's the basic idea to sound better, it's never going to sound as good as I want it too. I suppose if I ever got good at martial arts or the guitar, then I'd have to take up something else. In the mean time, I love training in the martial arts and I love playing on my guitar. I like to think that one helps me with the other, but I'll never tell which...

Until next time...